I'm not entirely sure what I was predisposed to do. Actually I haven't the slightest clue. And I mean in every aspect. What I could be career-wise, or what I could have been had I been exposed to a certain subject at a young age. I have no clue what the will of God is for my life, and I'm beginning to wonder if it really matters that much that I be told in some divine way before I take on a certain path. Shouldn't it make sense that I was created a certain way, to like certain things and to have the mental capacity for a certain line of work? I think that is the philosophy of a lot of people, if they believe they were created. But in my grade school's effort to give me a well-rounded education, I have found myself to be either somewhat proficient in, or fervently interested in a vast number of subjects or careers. If I take one path, I start to wonder about the other. I have declared a total of five different majors since I started college. I'm thinking about a sixth. I get lots of lectures from different well-meaning family members about how I need to stick with something and stop changing what I want to do. But to me, it's impossible. I can't think of anything but the greener grass where something else is.
I'm kind of like that in life. I can't wait to go out somewhere. When I go out, I can't wait to get home. It's all I can do to stave off anticipation for a trip, but all I can think about is getting back so I can tell people about it or reflect on it or know that I can say "I've been to ____".
And I'm always thinking about the future. I know, I say that like it's a bad thing, but it is, if it causes you not to embrace where you are right now. My holistic mindset has preyed on my ability to do so. In my mind, I float above the calendar, looking down at everything I have to do. I take it in all at once and the ovewhelming compound of tasks make my heart race, maybe speed up my breathing, and I've had to force myself to think one day, one hour, at a time.

Maybe I should try that approach with finishing my education. One credit hour at a time. Too bad they come in threes and fours. Three or four credit hours at a time. But then they are concurrent with one another in a semester. Fifteen credit hours at a time, that's all. You see what my mind is like? One hundred and twenty credit hours at a time over the course of a degree.